I’ve got a girl called Mandy.
She’s tall and she’s tanned and she’s kind.
She’s fun and she’s smart and she’s got a good heart.
An open and interested mind.
She’s got an infectious giggle.
She’s always impeccably dressed.
I’ve got a girl called Mandy
And Mandy’s alright, I guess.

But oh, God I miss Candy. She’s the best I’ve ever had.
When I think of the day I left Candy I feel so guilty and sad
I remember the times spent with Candy, and I know what it means to yearn
How can I get back with Candy? And when, oh when will I learn?

And now I’m seeing Sandy.
She just got her PhD.
She lectures in stage when she’s not writing plays.
She’s written a few about me.
She’s got quite a huge libido.
She smells like a morning rose.
And now I’m seeing Sandy
And Sandy’s okay, I s’pose.

But oh, man I miss Mandy. She’s the best I’ve ever had.
How could I do that to Mandy? I’m such a despicable cad.
When I think back to moments with Mandy I’m afraid that my eyes’ll burn
How can I get back with Mandy? And when, oh when will I learn?

I’ve got a thing with Randy.
She models for Calvin Klein.
She just made a mil on a shoot in Brazil.
She says the next million is mine.
She’s happy and unaffected.
Knows how to tell fake from real.
I’ve got a thing with Randy.
And she’s quite a catch, I feel.

But oh, shit I miss Sandy. She’s the best I’ve ever had.
Why did I end it with Sandy? I must have been stupid or mad.
Just to spend a few seconds with Sandy I’d give every cent I earn
How can I get back with Sandy? And when, oh when will I learn?
And when, oh when will I learn?
And when, oh when will I learn?