Peter Willey - Tupperware Massacre

from The People Have Songs - Volume 1 by Various Artists

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about

I wrote this song with a rhyming dictionary in one hand and a Tupperware catalogue in the other. All the names in the song are people I know. I really have an Aunt Mel. - Peter Willey

lyrics

Come gather round and listen to this tale of misery
It happened long ago at some poor girl’s kitchen tea
It should have been a party but things turned sour instead
There were stains upon the carpet and over twenty dead

It started out okay I guess as the ladies gathered round
The bride-to-be was happy with her crimplene dressing gown
The handy-bin from Grandma would be useful in her home
And Mrs Duke had painted her a hand-made garden gnome

Then Aunt Mel took exception to a comment from her niece
And she responded angrily and kicked her friend Bernice
Fights broke out around the room and none got out alive
Of the kitchen tea Tupperware massacre of 1965

Well it turned into a melee - you could see the plastic fly
A gift-wrapped beetroot strainer caught Kate above the eye
Red and yellow lunchboxes flew about the place
And someone rubbed a cheese grater down Mrs Porter’s face

A see-through, freezer canister killed Mrs Ross stone dead
A sawn-off salad crisper protruded from her head
PVC had severed limbs before the police arrived
At the kitchen tea Tupperware massacre of 1965

Thirty years have come and gone since the bodies were entombed
The Forensic Squad sought evidence and ordered them exhumed
They dug up Mrs Henderson and the mother of the bride
They were neatly stacked in Tupperware, fresh and crisp as the day they died!

credits

from The People Have Songs - Volume 1, released August 12, 2020
written & sung by Peter Willey
additional vocals by Miguel Heatwole & Matthew Hobbs

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Miguel Heatwole image

Miguel Heatwole Sydney, Australia

Miguel’s a versatile singer, choral director & composer. His interests include folk & world music, political satire, the environment, trade unionism & the responsible enjoyment of alcohol. His songwriting embraces themes like peace & justice, the family cat, & visceral passionate attraction. His enthusiasm for recording community singing has let many people share the power of their songs. ... more

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